murdered

if pure beauty kills, you'd be my murderer...

and she went by gracefully...

i surrender happiness to make someone else happy.
and as im doing that, i'll be watching my own happiness...
go pass by me.


..................................



i yielded remorse for i've made someone else happy.
and as i was doing that, i watched my own happiness...
went pass by me.

and she went by gracefully...

everything reminds me of you

even a slight thought of u in my mind

could make me happy

but a slight thought of me in ur mind

would make me even happier

reminiscing

i miss waking up in the morning,
rushing to work, running to catch my train.
i miss the long lines that kept me waiting
and often made me late. I miss the faces of tired drones
in the train forced to bare another day.
i miss that nasi lemak i often ate in the pantry
each time when i came in early. i miss hating alex for
each n every word he said. i miss feeling agitated each time
i had to stay back late. i miss the feeling
of despise when completing a rigorous task they gave.
i miss sleeping in the dark corner while
pretending that im working. and i miss the sweet
glimpse of her that i took when she came by passing.

rampant... still

a gift...

yet rampant still

rampant

these walls...
theyre caving in

maybe i am not the man i thought i was

this room...
it sucks
plain and punishing

this urge...
it sucks
fain and demeaning

in due time?
just a phase?
a mistake, a gift, a maze?

rampant...

a reverie so serene

last night i had a dream
a dream wondrously woven
about how i kept her warm
how i kept her calm

in this vivid dream
we were winsomely alone
yes, i kept her warm
n i hummed her a psalm

though i did all i can to keep this dream
still further away her presence it seemed
as the dream fades my heart dissassembled
the dimmer she was the more that i trembled

"come back, dream," i said.
"be absolute instead..."

a reverie so serene,...
so pleasent yet mean

hence i lay here stagnant,
wide awake, eyes closed...